Fear of failure: why do we experience it?

In the first place, it would be necessary to define what it would mean to fail or fail. And this is a difficult task because within the human universe these notions are very subjective. However, there are also cultural conceptions that build collective ideals: referents of what is desirable, what is successful, which in turn circumscribe what is considered undesirable or failed.

In today's capitalist societies, everything related to economic achievement, for example, is framed in an aura of success and, therefore, economic losses are evaluated as failures.

The fear of failing or failing revolves around the need to fulfill that ideal. The fear is also usually of facing judgments, criticism, or contempt from others, and simultaneously, from ourselves, since the level of self-criticism in these cases is usually very high.

People who express fear of failing recurrently are usually self-demanding and inflexible. They don't give themselves the opportunity to explore and learn from mistakes because they think they shouldn't happen. They often run away from facing the possibility of failure or overexerting themselves, pouring all their energy into the task and feeling great frustration if it doesn't go as expected.

In escape cases, what happens is that any action that could potentially expose a failure is avoided. Not taking risks or leaving the comfort zone is usually the norm. This can lead in more extreme cases to a paralysis of action, and inhibition that prevents deciding or acting in the different areas of life.

Failures are considered in these cases as a stigma, a seal that would be directly associated with the person. Perfectionism and pride do not facilitate the process either. Everything, according to this perspective, should always turn out well and there are usually difficulties in recognizing errors or giving in in relational exchanges.

The fear of falling or failing is understandable to a certain extent as we are part of a system that values ​​certain things to the detriment of others. The cases we refer to here involve a more intense fear that has consequences for the person in the areas in which it develops. There is a certain tendency to omnipotence, to believe that it is possible to respond and comply with everything without any error.

This omnipotence is in a certain sense unaware of reality since the person with these characteristics intends to become a being who knows and solves everything, and who could anticipate and control all unforeseen events. There is a strong undertone of need for control in this as well.

From this follows, in many cases, a partial and totalitarian mode of thought, which only sees and admits a part of history, denying and rejecting the opposite possibility. Believing that an "irreproachable conduct" is possible corresponds to making invisible everything that would spoil it, and directly denying its possible existence.

From the psychological point of view, this is associated with the repression of these aspects. Leaving to light everything that meets the valued stereotype and hiding, repressing everything that is not.

Living in a community implies the repression of certain destructive or undesirable aspects so that to some extent we all experience this. But here we refer to cases where this occurs in a highly unilateral manner, preventing a more complete picture from being observed.

In cases where the fear of failing is experienced on a recurring basis, bringing significant consequences for the subject, it also triggers anxiety, stress, and frustration, so it is advisable to work on it therapeutically.

 

Thank you