The self-boycott, how to recognize it?

The self-boycott, how to recognize it?
Posted on 23-03-2022

This mechanism is well known by which just when what we want is about to be fulfilled, "something happens", we go back or begin to put obstacles in the way.

The self-boycott is a companion of fear, it is an ally that allows it to stop before risk, to make a 180 degree turn exactly when it is about to reach the desired place.

But what happens if we fulfill what we want? Many times this is what generates fear. From Psychoanalysis, desire is thought of as that which mobilizes us, that makes us move forward, search, develop ourselves. If the desire is fulfilled, one can unconsciously fear that everything will end, remain inert, still. Paradoxically, if the desire is not assumed, many times it implies staying still, going back, or not being able to act.

The self-boycott undoes the movements of desire, slows down, recalculates, sometimes very clearly sabotages our achievements and efforts. According to Freud, some of this is associated with the Death Instinct, that destructive impulse, which needs to break, separate, disarm.

Behind the self-boycott there can be very diverse situations: as we mentioned before, fear can be its initiator, lack of confidence or low self-esteem can make you disbelieve that you deserve this or that achievement, nullifying or disarming it. Some self-boycotts are clearly destructive insofar as they directly attack the person, their health, and their integrity. Many addiction situations, for example, could be read in relation to this.

Autoboycotts, however, can enter the picture is much more subtle ways. The lack of desire, the tiredness, the recurrent forgetfulness, the perpetuation of unhealthy habits, the repetition in links and in scenarios that are harmful mark the path of self-destructive aspects.

Arriving late for that important work appointment, losing what had cost so much to achieve, continuing to maintain that bond that belittles, jealous, or annuls. Many times we do the opposite of what is necessary to follow the path of desire. Disorganization and chaos are usually located in these places. Order and extreme inflexibility as well. Body aches and symptoms, illnesses, are also added to the list.

Self-boycott is everything that repeatedly prevents the realization of one's own subjective choices. That obstacle that is not coincidentally always present, much more so the closer the objective is.

Given that it is often subtle and masks itself in the injustices of the world, the obstacles of life in general, or in a large number of excuses, the self-boycott must be made aware and elaborated in order to disarm.

When we speak of what is unconscious, we refer precisely to what is beyond our control. What we can even clearly see and criticize in others, but not detect in ourselves. Therapy allows that invisibility to be cleared, associations, words, memories, reflections to appear. Thanks to this work, in the best of cases, it will be possible to glimpse the self-boycott mechanism and be able to transcend the sabotage it deploys.

Recognizing one's own mechanisms enables action. It allows us to accept the function that the self-boycott fulfills (what does it intervene for? What do we save ourselves by boycotting ourselves? What do we avoid?), in order to later be able to go beyond it, disarm it when necessary to be able to build or sustain the desire and the path itself.

 

Thank You