Coldness and affective distance.

What are the coldness and affective distance that some people erect towards others?

In this article we reflect on the reason for a certain estrangement that some people have in relationships, analyzing it from a psychological point of view.

The effective distance, the lack of empathy or warmth, we can think, in the first instance, that it is constituted as a defense or a way of self-protection. People who are cold in their ties are perhaps afraid of getting emotionally involved, always pretending to keep a distance that makes them feel safe.

In many cases, this distance develops over generations. Being the son or daughter of parents who were not effective can cause this to be repeated as a bonding modality. An upbringing that does not include affection and emotional presence can generate discomfort in the future adult when faced with displays of affection. It is very important in the development of uniqueness to receive affection and affection. Caress and body contact is essential in a baby's life for her healthy growth, and this undoubtedly marks future development. However, distance can also be established as a way of cutting with bonding modalities that are too invasive. When the body space is invaded and the contact is excessive, the individual may also need to build a distance that protects and separates him from the other.

The effective distance can also be observed in people who have a more complex psychological condition, such as psychosis or autism, for example, where it may be due to effective flattening or apathy that these patients usually present. Also, in cases of depression, the person can generate this distancing. Any compromised picture can imply difficulty in depositing energy in the links, and this can be reflected at a certain distance.

Coldness is usually characteristic of very rational people. The excessively analytical mentality prevents being able to connect with feelings.

Carl G. Jung distinguished 4 psychological functions, grouped into two pairs of opposites: Thought-Feeling, Sensation-Intuition. These functions reflect ways in which we approach what happens to us, how we perceive what happens and how we process it. Although we all have 4 functions, we tend to develop some more than others, and, within each pair, the more developed we have one, the more hidden and underdeveloped the other is. Following this line, it can be seen how the excessive development of Thought necessarily leaves Feelings in inferior conditions. Sometimes even hidden and inaccessible.

For this reason, highly intellectual people or people with a great development of rationality often have difficulties expressing themselves affectively and showing feelings to others. Registering and working on these aspects allows us to integrate and balance the different functions.

Coldness can also be considered and, as we mentioned before, an avoidant means. A way of not deepening relationships, of leaving a distance that prevents the other from getting close enough. This may be due, among other things, to the fear of being invaded or hurt. Previous experiences in history in this sense can forge the foundations for the individual to continue defending himself in this way. This may imply difficulties, in turn, to achieve intimacy, because contact is necessary to become intimate in ties.

The effective distance and coldness can be a simple characteristic or become a reason that makes bonds with others difficult. Depending on the intensity, consulting a health professional may be appropriate.

 

 

Thank You