Cope with a loss.

As we have discussed on other occasions, losses are often difficult to bear. Any type of loss can represent a void that causes a crisis. In itself, a loss implies the variation of a previous state, where one of its elements that were previously present is suddenly missing.

The subjective impact of a loss lies not so much in the object itself, but rather in what it represents for the subject at that particular moment. Thus, many cases are observed in which the death or removal of a person not so close can also produce a great crisis.

Loss irremediably confronts us with what we cannot handle, what escapes us. And this can generate a lot of anguish and frustration.

Sometimes the loss is related to objects, an oversight, or theft. Sometimes in relation to people who moved away or who, for various reasons, ceased to be part of our subjective world. And in many cases, the loss implies a death. Losses also include the passage from one stage to another, significant vital changes, or the symbolic loss of certain structures reached.

In all cases, the previous state of the person who experiences it will undoubtedly influence, at what stage of their development they are, if they are going through a crisis or if they are in relative emotional balance. Going through and coping with a loss will require the psychological resources that we have available.

Many times, people who appear to be more vulnerable to external observation are surprised by the tools they have to deal with loss. And many others who are always strong and unwavering find the deepest crises in these events.

But in one way or another, we know that losses are faced by going through them. Going through and working on the pain they generate. The denial mechanism usually intervenes in many cases trying to avoid all kinds of suffering. Thus, the losses initially go unnoticed, or the person does not feel any impact. Usually sometime later the effects begin to be detected.

In this case, a popular phrase in English becomes relevant: «the only way out is through» which means, the only way out is through, in short, the only way to overcome pain is through it. If you don't go through the pain of loss, if you try to block it or cover it up, sooner or later it will return as an unresolved issue.

Jung also said that "a man who has not gone through the hell of his passions has never overcome them." With this, we emphasize again the importance of going through what is painful, that generates discomfort, and that many times would prefer to hide quickly.

The mourning that takes place after episodes of loss varies enormously in duration and characteristics, depending on the person who goes through it. Sometimes help is required, when the pain does not subside, time passes and the person is stuck in this suffering. In these cases, psychological therapy can help resolve and elaborate what is necessary to be able to move on to the next stage.

Losses, in most cases, represent an amount of suffering insofar as something in our reality was altered, there is a lack, our previous structure was altered, and we must go through the emotions that are put into play before that new stage. In this way, we can rebuild our world, create the conditions for the next stage, where some of that loss can be, in a certain way, repaired.

 

Thank You