Parenting anxiety.

Parenting anxiety.
Posted on 21-03-2022

What generates in boys and girls the anxiety of their fathers or mothers? What consequences can it bring to its development?

Anxiety, as we mentioned in previous articles, is very common today. While it is an adaptive defensive response in some situations, it has been significantly extended to become excessive or chronic. The speed, technology, consumption, and the socioeconomic and labor situation of the current system collaborate with this increase.

In the parenting environment, the anxiety of adults has a significant impact on the entire family environment.

Anxiety prevents fathers and mothers from spending quality time with their children. In order to play, accompany, listen, and be present physically and emotionally, it is necessary to be in a certain state of relaxation, and anxiety does not allow this.

What happens in these cases is that there is no real parental presence, which can emotionally support and contain. Mothers and fathers with anxiety are there and perhaps do the necessary tasks but emotionally they are not present, they are plagued by future concerns, or thinking about work issues or everything that they are not doing while they are with their children. And they, of course, notice it.

This emotional absence generated by anxiety is very frequent, and it also makes it difficult for them to truly receive what their children communicate to them. In general, they tend to anticipate their needs, sometimes being intrusive and not being able to respect children's times.

Other times anxiety leads them, precisely, to not being there. Then they cannot get ahead of themselves either, but they procrastinate, delay or enter somewhat chaotic circuits that prevent the development of certain necessary routines for the children.

Much of parenting requires the ability to accompany and respect the child's times. Anxiety makes it difficult to wait and follow times other than your own. Everything is dictated based on an internal urgency, which demands moving from one thing to another at great speed. Thoughts, fears, chores, and responsibilities pile up, preventing the person from being able to really connect with what is around them.

Thus, and within this dynamic, important things can be missed, situations that demand a responsible response, simply because they cannot be fully present.

The intrusive factor of anxiety also generates very counterproductive effects, because it is the adult who constantly sets the pace and anticipates the request, thus making it difficult for your son or daughter to develop communication tools and learn to tolerate frustration.

Anxiety is something that usually develops early, and in children, it often manifests itself even from very early ages. If the family rhythm is governed by anxiety and overflow, it is very likely that these children will grow up with these same dynamics, making it difficult later for them to register and name what they need or what they feel.

It is very important that mothers and fathers who are raising their sons and daughters can work on their anxiety in order to minimize the impact it has on their development.

 

Thank You

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