Why is parental warmth important in parenting?

On previous occasions, we have mentioned the importance of warmth and emotional support in parenting, and its effects on boys and girls in relation to their development.

In this article, we are going to emphasize this, because it is extremely important from a psychological point of view and because it continues to be a concern today as it represents the reality of many families.

When we talk about warmth, we are talking about a word that is linked to empathy, to connection and emotional disposition, to physical contact from tenderness, to hugs, to caresses. It is related to a compassionate parental position, and availability to accompany and contain.

This in many cases is not possible, sometimes no matter how hard you try. In the function of mother and father, very deep unconscious issues are played out. The desire, the resolution or not of conflicts with their own parental figures, the emotional state they are going through, etc. In many cases mothers and fathers focus on covering daily tasks, leaving emotional contact in the background.

The lack of parental warmth is in the background of many antisocial and defiant behaviors, for example. The boy or girl registers that there is something that has been missing and seeks to redeem it with actions that challenge or violate their environment. Thus, it can be observed in those small criminal acts at school or in various areas: petty theft, disruptive behavior, tantrums, calls for attention, or lies.

In these cases, the child is usually punished or blamed for his behavior, sometimes without bearing in mind that it is a response to something dysfunctional that is present in the family context.

In other cases, instead, great inhibition, fears, and insecurity may occur.

Parental warmth, contact, embrace, the dimension of the subtle, of the quality time put into play in parenting, is very important. A large part of these exchanges is going to be fundamental for the mental health of that boy or that girl. From the psychological aspect, we know that childhood requires care that goes beyond the basics. The child girl requires food for her organism but also emotional food for her psyche.

The act of breastfeeding encompasses not only a biological issue but an essentially psychological one as it is an act that allows the baby to begin to know the world and to develop his psyche. The contact, the look, and the caress are essential in these first moments, where even the symbolic body register manages to integrate thanks to these exchanges.

The coldness, the distance, the lack of time, the anxiety of fathers and mothers in the first years of upbringing, above all, generate in the child a feeling of restlessness, great insecurity regarding the environment and himself/herself. Difficulty in strengthening self-esteem, because it is the warmth that truly shows them that they are valuable and loved.

A large number of psychological conflicts in infancy and childhood are related to this lack of warmth. The responsibility that lies in motherhood and fatherhood implies recognition of their role and the effects they can generate on their sons and daughters. It is the commitment to work on our own aspects in order to guarantee the best possible accompaniment in this important stage of life.

 

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